I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
