she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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