Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize