Pappa wants mamma naked
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
