i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She's the barista slut.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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