so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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