You're a womanizer and a bitch.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
