Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
