he puts the penis in happiness.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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