Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize