Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize