ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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