You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
