You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize