Only a mothe r could love this liver
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
