i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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