Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
