I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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