i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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