I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
areolas are like halos for boobs.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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