May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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