my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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