I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
