Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Randomize
