thus making me awesome and them whores
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
