hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
