So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
