yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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