I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
