dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
