New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
