New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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