If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just want nice things and good sex
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
