the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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