you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
