I looked at my own cervix.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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