I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
how does that bad decision feel?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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