I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
vagina is talking i cant
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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