Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Even my vagina gasped.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
