bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
