you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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