just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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