Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
How many fucks given?
0.12846
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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