she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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