Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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