youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I still have a little drunk in my system
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
