she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
