Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
3 2 1 whiskey
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
