they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
