Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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