Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
