Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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