I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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