How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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