My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
