i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
