Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
